My graduation was over. Doors were shut for further studies. And mother
was no more. The subdued information told by my friend Nizamuddin about I.A.S.
centre, Allahabad emerged. I was still teaching children. As I had no any valid
reason to request for discharge, nor I could fabricate Ram-like story to obtain
it, and getting discharge for I.A.S. study was beyond imagination.
Still hesitantly I explained everything to Mr. G. L. Pandit and
expressed my desire to try for I.A.S., when there was scope for us at
Allahabad. He just listened me and did not respond. I got nervous. I knew I was
asking for a very difficult thing like discharge.
A week passed and there was no
word from Mr. Pandit.
One day in the evening I was teaching the son of Subedar Major Dilbag
Singh Sahab. He seldom came in our room. “Sawdekar come here”. I heard his
voice from adjacent room. I immediately went and stood before him in attention
position, as that was the discipline in military. “Giridhari Lal told me about
your intention to appear for Civil Services Examinations at Allahabad I am
glad. Go ahead. Give me your application for discharge”. Then he explained me
how and what to mention in the application.
Immediately I saluted him and
rushed to Mr. Pandit’s bungalow which was just 5 minutes walk. I told what
Subhedar Major advised me. Mr. Pandit simply smiled as if he was already aware
of it!
Next day I made an application on the lines of their advice and handed
it over to Mr. G. L. Pandit who in then passed it on to Subhedar Major.
I was sceptical. Why I should not
be? I had seen jawans running away from military as they failed to obtain
discharge even on genuine grounds. They were declared ‘fugitives’ and arrest
warrants were issued! Some could not stand to hard life and extremely harsh
discipline and they too ran away. Sum and substance was that to get discharge
from military was next to impossible during those daysi
And after 3-4 days incredible happened! Impossible turned something
possible. I was discharged from military! I was relieved off from Mahar Machine
Gun Regiment. I became non-jawan of Mahar Machine Gun Regimental Centre Saugar!
I could not believe that I became a civilian. But it pained me to think that I
ceased to be a Mahar jawan, a soldier of Indian Army! No more prints of Army
No. 4533502 on the items of the kit!
Indeed sad! What was I before I joined Mahar Regiment! A zero! A big
cipher! A large bubble! A hungry child, a starving boy, struggling literally
for a morsel, breathing in a stark poverty, living in a poor family! A child
with no clothes on, endeavouring to learn with no books, trying to read with no
light, burning by scorching heat in summer, shivering with cold in winter and
getting drenched in open fields in monsoon, what was I? A child grown up at
early age, heaped upon by realizations of fearful conditions! What was I? A
jobless child! Contradiction in itself! Running from place to place in search
of job! In search of education, in search of food, in search of life itself!
Deprived of source of life!
4533502 provided me my first need, the food. 4533502 gave me assurance
of my second need, a job. 4533502 ensured my continuous requirement, the flow
of money for my starving family. This number put me on a safe, strong and
ambitious affectionate, affordable springboard that launched me in the sky to
fly! It widened my horizons of knowledge, life and human qualities! Every digit
of my number 4533502 prepared me to face the world, the life, its future
hardships and also taught me how to enjoy the sweet fruits of sweating labours!
Therefore my future got founded on strong stone like bricks of each digit of
4533502 and it got immersed, it became inseparable liquid in every drop of my
blood, every tissue of my body and every item of my brain! Besides forget not
that 4533502 had become permanently associated with Mahar Regiment’s Record; in
other words Indian Army. 4533502 gave me a permanent identity – a lifelong
identity as Ex-serviceman. 4533502 would never be erased from the records of
the Regiment of the brave Mahar jawans! Now it made my life worthy and
in real sense a competitive man for civil life.
With discharge certificate in pocket I went to J.C.O. G. L. Pandit and
at most humility paid my respect and then went Subhedar Major Dilbag Singh and saluted him in attention position and then touched his feet
with deep reverence. I requested Subhedar Major to convey my respect to C.O.
Col. Mansingh.
Needless to say I visited Subhedar Wada and told everything to Mr.
Madhukarrao, Chintamanrao and Indutai. I also met my teacher Mrs. Hardikar and
Principal Mrs. Shrikhande.
At first they could not believe that I left Mahar Regiment. They were
glad when they heard about my future plan.
Incidently Subhedar Major had allowed me to stay in barrack and take
food in Adam. Company’s lungar. I was out of military only hoping for
Allahabad. A week passed and I became suspicious, restless and worried. In
company all jawans knew that I got discharge. Feeling that my stay was improper
l left Adams. Company barrack and hired a small room in the adjacent locality named LalKurti
and on the same day I received a telegram from Allahabad asking me to appear
for an interview. I read it again and I missed my heartbeats. It was an
interview! And what if I failed and rejected in the interview? I coolly wiped
my forehead.
But my immediate problem was money! My dear friend Y. S. Ranshringare
arranged the required amount. Again I went to Subhedar Major Dilbag Singh who
expressed his happiness and promptly blessed me for my future life. I made
goodbye to his son and my student whom I called Tinu.
J.C.O. G. L. Pandits had become my family. Mr. and Mrs. Pandit blessed
me, as it was last goodbye, they felt sad. I loved their children Prabha,
Ashok, Naresh, Rakesh so much that there was visible but innocent sadness on
their faces. Needless to say I saw Mrs. Hardikar, Mrs. Shrikhande and lastly I
took meals with Indutai who looked after me like her younger brother and
treated me like her child and showered her flood of affection on me. Shrikhande
brothers were my guardians who guided and directed me, helped me and always
stood by me to advise! I prayed God to keep me always indebted under these
three persons Subhedar Major Dilbag Singh, J.C.O. G. L. Pandit and Shrikhande
of Subhedar Wada. I prayed god to keep me grateful to Mrs. Hardikar and Principal Mrs. Shrikhande. I kept informed my brother and family about everything.
Y. S. Ranshringare who was a
witness to my story from the first day to this last movement and best friend,
who always shared my moments of worries and happiness, unwillingly put my small
luggage holdall in the tanga. I looked at MRC – my place of worship and
the place of brave Mahar soldiers. I bowed down my head. With heavy heart and
extreme humility and submission I asked
the tongawala (Tonga man) to start. The tanga proceeded to
Saugar Railway Station for my unknown nebulous onward journey to Allahabad
At Saugar railway station I found MRC office crowded with new young boys
arrived to join Mahar Regiment!
In retrospection I was
bewildered, confused, aghast, alarmed and ambiguous when I had stopped in this
office years ago.
Today I looked at this office
with confidence, courage and widened look at new life and its new horizons!
I got in train bound for Bina as it moved reel of events one by one slipped
in my mind and lingering for a moment slowly slipped out. Houses after houses,
locality after locality started appearing and disappearing from my eyesight
along with the Saugar city leaving permanent marks on my mental canvas!
It was a long dream, a beautiful dream. Not imaginary but real one, a
dream of my ambition, a dream of my inspiration. It was an utopian dream when I
saw it on 23rd December 1953. But to day after nearly eight years it
turned to be a real and sweet dream, which would serve me as a torch for my
entire future life.
My life was brought on the threshold of apparent bright future not by my
efforts alone but by our stark poverty. Later in one of my poems on poverty I
wrote –
‘Oh! Poverty! No quarrel with you,
How mercilessly you nourished me,
And how heartlessly you denied me.
I quenched my thirst
With my own tears.
Oh! Poverty! You provided Me
clothes worn and torn.
Still I have no quarrel
with you, Oh! Poverty!
You know why? 'Cause You inspired me,
you Provoked me to fight
Against you!
I am grateful to you, oh! Poverty!
'Cause with your cruelty
Today I defeated you!
‘Oh! Poverty! I have no
quarrel with
you!
Now a BOOK .not
a Chapter of my life closed here| Will
it open to
add a new chapter to it?
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