WINGED AMBITION

On convocation day, Nizamuddin (real name), my classmate girl student’s brother told, “Sawdekar, once you said me that you want to become Indian Civil Service (I.C.S.) Officer. There is an opportunity for you. Government has invited applications from the S/C and S/T candidates for Indian Administrative Services (I.A.S.) etc. Pre-examination centre started at Allahabad. Why don’t you try?”

This piece of information was tagged somewhere in a corner of my mind. Doors for further education were shut, curtsey our 2-I-C. (Incidentally 2-I-C in Gunwant Bansode’s episode and 2-I-C in my case were to different officers but both were Maharashtrians belonging to high caste!) Any way to apply for I.A.S. course meant I must leave military – in other words – I must obtain discharge. To obtain discharge was next to impossible. I had no valid and convincing reason to apply for discharge.

One of my platton’s sepoy, Ram (name changed) was suffering from acute night – blindness. It was difficult for him to walk even a few steps during night time. Even to walk up to lungar for meal in the evening he required someone to hold his hand. His cot being near to my cot in the barrack I always helped him and felt sad for his pitiable condition. Night duty like quarter guard or patrolling was never assigned to him due to his night blindness and on duty he was a headache and liability for his partner sepoy! Whenever whistle was blown out for fire fighting (Mock Drill) all jawans were required to line up with necessary fire fighting equipment in a minute. It was more often than rare and that mostly during night time and at such time I had seen him literally crying on his cot. He never went to city or cinema hall of the centre. A number of times he was sent to M. I. Room (Medical Inspection Room) for check up, but doctors found nothing abnormal. The cause could not be diagnosed.

On Saturdays  we were generally shown Hindi cinema in centre’s hall. Everyone would go but Ram would stay back all alone in the barrack. One day I asked him to come for Hindi movie and assured him that I will take care of him and would not leave him alone at any time. He agreed and we both went to the hall. All Ors used to sit on the ground floor. I asked him to sit near to me. All engrossed in movie. At one situation where mother’s scene was involved, suddenly I looked at him; he was sobbing. Then onward I started stealthy looking at him and found he was responding to various scenes like love, fighting, pathetic situations and so on. I never gave him any chance  to doubt my observations.

Movie was over and one by one all left the hall. I held Ram’s hand and walked a few yards and slowly releasing my hand from his hand. I left him alone and went away quickly from him. Then standing away I began observing his movements. For a while he searched me, called me by name, stopped, and murmured few words. But feeling and ensuring that nobody was watching him, he walked fast and reached our barrack. Moment he started      pretending   to     find out his cot, I held his hand brought to the cot and then said, “Ram you are not suffering from night blindness. You are fooling all of us and lying. You are simply pretending. I observed you and to ascertain my findings I deliberately left you alone after the movie was over. Now tell me the truth. Otherwise I shall disclose your lies and you know the punishment!”

 Ram broke down. He narrated that he was the only son of his parents. His sisters were of marriageable age and they lost their father. He was quite rich, but in a fit of anger he had joined the military. Now mother had been weeping and she wanted him back to look after his younger sisters. He showed me a number of letters received from his mother threatening to commit suicide if he failed to return within a specific period. Then he told various stories and incidents how his sisters were being harassed and his mother abused by other people. Ram was crying incessantly while describing his stories.I remembered my mother and family. I knew what mother’s love was. He kept quiet for some time and asked me that should he allow his sisters abused and mother commit suicide? I was suddenly taken aback. I had no answer. I simply said, “If it is really a truth. I wish you early success!”

 Sentry had put off the lights. I pretended to sleep but was awake in the mosquito net; thinking that who would protect jawan’s mother and family from such social elements. Jawan who would every minute prepare himself for supreme sacrifice to protect his motherland? Intermittently I heard Ram’s broken sobs from his mosquito net. He too was awake. His plan worked. He succeeded and got the discharge on medical ground! Tears in eyes, he thanked me saying he loved MRC too and left in Tonga for Saugar railway station!